I am a wee little leprechaun and a cute one if I do say so myself. I don't mind a spot of whiskey from time to time, but what I like best is my tree. It's my home and it's so quaint and cozy that if it weren't for all the damn woodcutters I'd never leave. Why just yesterday a woodcutter came back and asked for three more wishes because he had wasted the first 3 on a sausage. I told him that sausage was a very good meal and he should be satisfied but he told me he wished it away. Stupid is a stupid does I guess.

Well, I decided the only way to get rid of him would be to grant him 3 more wishes. "What shall I wish for," he asked. "My wife will never be satisfied. Oh leprechaun, make my wishes for me."

"Oh alright," I said. "I want a bottle of whiskey, and I want those damn squirrels to stop attacking me." The woodcutter frowned.

"And I want the woodcutter to be happy." The frown turned into a smile and the woodcutter skipped home to a new farm and a dead wife.